HALLOWEEN 2016

 

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BELLINGEN RIVER ON HALLOWEEN 2016

I was still too wiped out to go even to the meeting this morning.  Back to bed for yet another day. I don’t know what’s Grief and what’s Addiction and what’s physical illness. I rather think its a combination of them all.

Best I also accept that I have nothing at all I want to write about just now. I am simply having experiences.  And SLEEPING.

ONE EXPERIENCE I AM HAVING IS A LOT OF LOVING TIMES WITH THE KIDS .

Actually, I do have things to write but I feel like I shall take the lid off something explosive if I do write. Life seems to just be holding together and I am back in Kangaroo in Spotlight Mode. Frozen and afraid. Standing ever so still so I won’t be harmed. Thing is – there are things I need to attend to. Business matters – but I seem incapable of doing so. I am simply shutting down and enjoying the Kids but non-functioning in any other area. Soemtimes I simply want to sit down and sob. Sometimes I am just so frustrated to wake up and have such trouble breathing and not enough energy to even sit in a car and go to a meeting.

The weight stays on at 95 kilos and I am barely able to move at times. And sometimes, it breaks my heart. I want Izzy back. We looked after one another and things were easy. Now they are hard. Very hard. I think I have mucked up my money but can’t even bear to look at the account. That is only sometimes. Other times, I have the Little Girls. Other times, my brain kicks in and I function. Other times – well – Other Times have begun. Its been a long time without them. Sometimes, I am not devastated . Sometimes I am not afraid.

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LADS COME CALLING 2016 HALLOWEEN

Strange Sensations After a Brain Injury | Living with Brain Injury

Strange Sensations After a Brain Injuryby Linda W. ArmsAfter a brain injury there are many strange sensations in our head and body.    For me, the sensations began a few hours after my injury and have slowly decreased in intensity and frequency over the last years.   Sometimes, lying awake at night, I would notice these and be afraid because I felt that no one really knew what was going on up there in my brain.   Science still refers to the brain as the “last frontier”.    I felt I was in a strange, mystifying state where that “brain fairy” was doing its work that others did not understand.I expect everyone with a brain injury has different sensations.   I’ve noticed from reading others’ experiences there seem to be some similarities.   How many of you felt the same things I did?

Source: Strange Sensations After a Brain Injury | Living with Brain Injury

BBC – Future – The daily struggle of living with extreme fatigue

It took years for Danny to be told the medical explanation for that exhaustion – and yet it is by no means unique. While many of the physical and verbal problems are well known, “cognitive fatigue” is one of the most disabling symptoms of a range of neurological disorders – and an important barrier to recovering a more active life.

Source: BBC – Future – The daily struggle of living with extreme fatigue

SUNDAY SUNDAY

A clouded day with a lot of birds around. I feel much better today but still very weak and not taking myself far at all. It wears me down sometimes. The trees are in flower for the Springtime and its still and calm albeit grey skied.

I am still unpacking boxes and wondering about things. For today I am NOT in crisis. It is a great relief. Getting Halloween things ready. Minimal. And pottering.

The articles I am posting are part of my recovery. They are the things making sense of my own experiences. As I have so often said, Medicine and Medicos have provided almost no help. Its the articles and Blogs that have provided my much needed data and information.

THEN I AM LEFT with what remains.

Standing beside the dead body of my love – breath taken.

Lying in my own poo unable to move or speak.

The Horrors of Halloween are no longer unknown to me.

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Balance Problems After Traumatic Brain Injury

People with traumatic brain injury (TBI) commonly report problems with balance. Between 30% and 65% of people with TBI suffer from dizziness and disequilibrium (lack of balance while sitting or standing) at some point in their recovery. Dizziness includes symptoms such as lightheadedness, vertigo (the sensation that you or your surroundings are moving), and imbalance.How bad your balance problem is depends on many factors:How serious your brain injury is.Where in your brain you were injured.Other injuries you had along with your brain injury. For example, in a motor vehicle crash, you could suffer a TBI, cervical spine injury, and rib and leg fractures. All of these injuries will affect your ability to maintain your balance.Some medications used to manage the medical issues connected with the traumatic event or acciden

Source: Balance Problems After Traumatic Brain Injury

Brain rewires itself after damage or injury, life scientists discover | UCLA

When the brain’s primary “learning center” is damaged, complex new neural circuits arise to compensate for the lost function, say life scientists from UCLA and Australia who have pinpointed the regions of the brain involved in creating those alternate pathways — often far from the damaged site. The research, conducted by UCLA’s Michael Fanselow and Moriel Zelikowsky in collaboration with Bryce Vissel, a group leader of the neuroscience research program at Sydney’s Garvan Institute of Medical Research, appears this week in the early online edition of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The researchers found that parts of the prefrontal cortex take over when the hippocampus, the brain’s key center of learning and memory formation, is disabled. Their breakthrough discovery, the first demonstration of such neural-circuit plasticity, could potentially help scientists develop new treatments for Alzheimer’s disease, stroke and other conditions involving damage to the brain. For the study, Fanselow and Zelikowsky conducted laboratory experiments with rats showing that the rodents were able to learn new tasks even after damage to the hippocampus. While the rats needed more training than they would have normally, they nonetheless learned from their experiences — a surprising finding.

Source: Brain rewires itself after damage or injury, life scientists discover | UCLA

A DAY IN BED – AGAIN AND A MATTER OF DUCKS.

We have so many ducks. More than 12 – said Saf. I am wondering what one can learn from ducks after another bed ridden day. I missed the 3 things I had planned but EVERY DECISION I MAKE IS A GOOD ONE so it don’t matter.

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Worker (Brisbane, Qld. : 1890 – 1955), Wednesday 26 October 1932,

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I missed the school fete and the meeting and the music at no 5 but I feel a good deal better.I could fall asleep again but it is very early. I am in a most peculiar landing place and fairly settled in.Very strange indeed it is. Feels that way to me. Eden has gone to watch the fireworks for the Whale Festival and I am tiring.

I CAN PROBABLY LEARN SOMETHING FROM THE DUCKS.

Why Does Everything Hurt So Much After Brain Injury?

WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD, IS FOLLOW UP TREATMENT OF SUCH POOR AND MOSTLY NON EXISTENT QUALITY ?  IF IT WEREN’T FOR THESE ARTICLES I WOULD HAVE DESPAIRED LONG AGO – LOST IN A WORLD WHICH HELD NO EXPLANATIONS FOR ME AT ALL.

No one talks about how people who have a brain injury also have pain everywhere. I mean, after a TBI, everything hurts. And when you ask doctors about it, they say it’s psychological. But it sure doesn’t feel that way. Why is this happening, and what can I do? Studies show that more than 50 percent of people suffer from chronic pain disorders in the years following a brain injury. Headaches and neuropathic (nerve-related) pain is most commonly from injury to the head and neck. Other common sources of pain include spasticity (increased muscle tension from brain injury), heterotopic ossification (bone forming outside the skeleton), deep venous thrombosis, genitourinary and gastrointestinal disorders, and orthopedic trauma (ie, fractures and other muscle and bone injuries). The head is the most common location of pain. Interestingly, people with milder brain injury have higher rates of complaints of headaches when compared to those with moderate and severe brain injury. The reason for the higher rates of headaches with milder severity brain injury is not well understood.

Source: Why Does Everything Hurt So Much After Brain Injury?