SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

12-10-14-sunrise

I surely am not sleeping. Up and down all night. Then sleeping all day long. Now, with the physical illness reduced and the house a lot easier to live in than the shack, now – the Grief takes a hold on me and I can feel the trauma of being torn asunder. Now, I am aware of things I do no wish to do – rather than cannot do.

I did tonight’s meeting. Izzy used to take me and then we would eat out at Indian before going home to Raleigh and he would have done the shopping whilst I was in the meeting. BUT THOSE DAYS ARE GONE.

Now – I stand around and chat a while. Then get a lift to the Providore and I had a hamburger with pineapple and walked home. I AM walking. That’s a lot better. WALKING.

I am still living in a tension which isn’t good for me but the end is in sight. Its one of my Facetime nights with Eden which are one of the components of my happiness.

I Like this flat. Snug and safe. I am not sure of next moves but today is just about done.  I have booked a cleaner and now I need someone to bring the rest of my odds and ends up here. Its rent day already. I forgot.  And it don’t matter. It don’t matter at all. I think something physical has shifted inside and I feel a little more as I once did before the Death and the Coma. Imagine that !

MEMORIES : BRIERFIELD PADDYMELON.

dscf8819wall

The Kids lived 5 years out at Brierfield in a shack saving to build their new house. Its built now and is just up the road from me here in the Lyon’s Den.

__________________________________________________________

Hour To Hour – Book – Quote

Everyone has the right to be wrong! That includes whatever occurs this hour–either our mistake, or another’s. But we, or they, have the right to make that mistake. This is not cause for anger or guilt, just understanding.

This hour, understanding our right to be wrong will see me through. Please help me understand.

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