I emerge from this conversation dumbfounded. I’ve seen this a million times before, but it still gets me every time. I’m listening to a man tell a story. A woman he knows was in a devastating car accident; her life shattered in an instant. She now lives in a state of near-permanent pain; a paraplegic; many of her hopes stolen.He tells of how she had been a mess before the accident, but that the tragedy had engendered positive changes in her life. That she was, as a result of this devastation, living a wonderful life.And then he utters the words. The words that are responsible for nothing less than emotional, spiritual and psychological violence:Everything happens for a reason. That this was something that had to happen in order for her to grow.That’s the kind of bullshit that destroys lives. And it is categorically untrue. It is amazing to me that so many of these myths persist—and that is why I share actionable tools and strategies to work with your pain in my free newsletter. These myths are nothing more than platitudes cloaked as sophistication, and they preclude us from doing the one and only thing we must do when our lives are turned upside down: grieve.