Gaslighting: How To Spot This Type Of Psychological Abuse – mindbodygreen

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term gaslighting, I’ll tell you that it’s a form of psychological abuse in which a loved one presents you with false information and then doggedly insists it’s true, causing you, over time, to question your perception of reality and to blame yourself for the other person’s actions and any problems in your relationship with that person. Often, gaslighting behaviors are perpetrated by partners to cover up sexual infidelity, financial shenanigans, or some other ongoing bad behavior.One of the most disturbing facets of gaslighting is that everyone is vulnerable—even incredibly intelligent and emotionally stable individuals. In part this is because, as human beings, our natural tendency is to believe what the people we love and trust tell us. So rather than questioning a loved one, we tend to defend and make excuses for the person, even if the behavior we’re willfully ignoring hurts us directly.Moreover, gaslighting is just plain hard to spot because it tends to start slowly, with small lies and believable excuses. “I’m sorry I’m late, honey. I’ve got a big project at work and I lost track of time.” A loving spouse would hardly question that statement. Over time, of course, the lies get bigger and the excuses get flimsier, but we might not notice because the escalation is so gradual. In some ways, it’s like putting a frog in a pot of water that is set to slowly boil. Because the temperature increases only gradually, the frog doesn’t notice that it’s being cooked.

Source: Gaslighting: How To Spot This Type Of Psychological Abuse – mindbodygreen

ANOTHER DAY

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THE BACKYARD 20 NOV 2016

It seems the Police are seeking the guy next door who drinks like a fish, sliced his arms up with glass of windows and is generally crazy.

WE had a swim today. The 2 Nanas and the Girls. They were to come here later in the day but Kaybee called to say the girls were now vomiting like she did. Not food poisoning then.

My rent is paid but I can’t get my head around re-packaging the Netflix stuff. I may need to ask for help from Sinc.

I hesitate to unpack any more boxes because I do not feel stable here as yet. Its hard enough for me to feel at home anywhere without any other hiccoughs. And I am not pressuring myself – on any matter at all. All that happens is that my brain spins and I malfunction.  I can always use the excuse of being a frail old lady if I find myself in a tricky situation and do the Dumbo. Like with Rego. I have no idea when the Rego runs out on the Astra.

DO NOT PUSH YOURSELF PAST THE POINT AT WHICH YOU DETACH , LYNNE AND SEIZE UP.

STOP – NO MATTER WHAT ! LET IT GO – NO MATTER WHAT !

THE OTHER THING I need to do is to suck the juice out of each day. I am restless and bored and lonesome – but that don’t mean I can’t dive under the water with the Little Ones. It doesn’t mean that I can’t watch their Joy.

AND TODAY I DID.

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BELLINGEN POOL NOV 2016

The other thing I need to do is to STOP PREDICTING. Stop meandering off into a Future which will not be what I think anyways. I seem to be moving a little further away from the past. Short sharp stab wounds hit now and then and sometimes a nightmare but I am beginning to let it go somewhat.

For Now – I remain – with ONE DAY. Just one simple day. Measure it. Taste it. And bundle it up on the Shelf. One more kindly day. Safe and loving and loved.

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DON’T BE SCARED, LYNNE. DON’T BE SCARED.