No one is forcing us to give up our misery.”
Basic Text pg. 29


A lift to a meeting with a handsome man in a fine car.

A damned good meeting.

A few odd chats at home.

A couple of meals from Lise.

Phone calls from Arkue.

A start on a Sepsis FB page for Australia.

Not a bad day. Pretty pain free. Better breathing.


When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.

–Tuli Keupferberg.

Its a sweet night. Gentle in temperature and nature. I am eating pesto pasta and getting my head ready for bed. Softly. Softly.  I have come to a strange new place in recovery where I think I MIGHT live somewhat longer . Where does that leave me ? How do I wish to live ? Where do I wish to live ? Its a bit strange. It appears that I shall have to live it with this faulty malfunctioning brain that stops and starts. It appears that I may not be able to breathe very well. Could be very interesting indeed.

The challenge is to actually LIVE. Izzy filled holes in me and my life that nothing else had been able to and when he was unplugged, so many good things died with him. If I allow my mind to wander into the Izzy Lands – I am in trouble. Then the managing of affairs and the restrictions to travel and the sheer loss of cherishing and being cherished and much more becomes UNBEARABLE once more. Then I become so sad. So sad that I don’t finish my Life up with the Helpmeet and beloved companion. All the Music has stopped.

Gradually, the agony diminishes but I still think its a sorrowful thing that has happened.

Sepsis – Wikipedia

Disease severity partly determines the outcome with the risk of death from sepsis being as high as 30%, severe sepsis as high as 50%, and septic shock as high as 80%.[9] The number of cases worldwide is unknown as there is little data from the developing world.[9] Estimates suggest sepsis affects millions of people a year.[4] In the developed world about 0.2 to 3 per 1000 people get sepsis yearly or about a million cases per year in the United States.[9][10] Rates of disease have been increasing.[4] Sepsis is more common among males than females.[3] The condition has been described at least since the time of Hippocrates.[11] The terms septicemia and blood poisoning referred to the microorganisms or their toxins in the blood and are no longer commonly used

Source: Sepsis – Wikipedia

Why secure and affordable housing is an increasing worry for age pensioners


The average housing costs of older (65-plus) outright homeowners in lone-person households were A$38 a week in 2013-14, the Australian Bureau of Statistics calculated, compared to $103 for older social housing tenants and $232 for older private renters.Fortunately, over the last several decades almost all Australians who depend on the age pension for their income have been outright homeowners, and their housing costs have thus usually represented a small proportion of their pension. However, this situation is changing and the significance of this is profound.Drawing on 125 in-depth interviews conducted in Sydney and regional New South Wales (discussed in detail in my book, The Australian Dream: Housing Experiences of Older Australians), it is evident that these substantial differences in housing costs combined with differing levels of tenure security have a fundamental impact on the capacity of Australians dependent solely or primarily on the age pension to lead a decent life.The interviews I conducted with the older homeowners, particularly with couple households, indicated that provided they did not have extraordinary expenses (high medical bills, excessive smoking and or drinking, having to look after a child etc), they managed reasonably well on the age pension. They could run a car, engage in modest leisure activities, travel and even save.Margaret, who lived by herself, was content:Well I can [and] I do participate. I don’t go to the opera because that’s too expensive … I don’t go to live shows because they’re too expensive, but that’s okay. I do other things. I’m a very busy person.Although the housing costs of older social housing tenants are high relative to homeowners, the fact that their rent is pegged at 25% of their income means they have a fair amount of disposable income after paying for their accommodation.Betty, a social housing tenant, summed up their situation:In public housing you see, even if they’ve only got the old age pension, nothing else, because their rent is only a quarter [of their income], they manage, most of them quite well. People who don’t manage are the ones who drink, smoke a lot … or who have an illness that requires heavy expenditure on medication.In addition, historically, older social housing tenants have had guaranteed security of tenure. John spoke of the enormous benefits of this security:When you know your accommodation is right, this is especially when you’re older, you can pursue other interests. You’re more relaxed and I do feel, I really feel you’re in for a longer life you know … I’m quite content and I think it’s just wonderful that the government does supply these houses.Private renters live with insecurityMany older private renters live in a state of perpetual insecurity as they can be told to leave at any time. Lopolo from http://www.shutterstock.comThe third group, older private renters dependent on the age pension for their income, are in a completely different position. A large proportion of them are having to use a large proportion of their income to pay for their rent.Also, once their lease ends they can be asked to leave at any time – no grounds have to be given. The resulting perpetual insecurity combined with the cost of their housing is the basis for enormous anxiety and distress.Maggie, a private renter in Sydney, said:It [the age pension] is unrealistic. I mean I thank God for it because I’d never make ends meet otherwise. I really thank God for it, but it’s unrealistic. You cannot live on that. I mean what would you live on? It’s a joke. I was lucky that I had the income from working on the side … I couldn’t have lived like that without working a bit …Helen painted a bleak picture. Even though she was drawing the couple pension she was clearly suffering enormous psychological distress:Sometimes I think I’m too old for this. Maybe I’ll be dead in a year’s time and we wouldn’t have to worry about it. All the stress … I said to my doctor, ‘Why keep us alive when there’s nothing there for us?’ I said, ‘There’s no help for us,’ and she agreed with me … I told her we couldn’t get into a retirement village or even buy a caravan, or mobile home. We couldn’t even buy that. So we have a little bit of money but we can’t do anything with it. It’s not enough to help us.When I asked Janet, who had been a private renter for a long time, how she responded when she heard that she had been accepted for social housing, she said:I was absolutely, well, I sat down and cried. I literally sat down and cried because I felt like, well, at least I had the protection of the Department of Housing whereas before of course I didn’t have any of that. I had no protection whatsoever … My children were having children so they couldn’t [take care of me]. They’re just working-class people and so they couldn’t care for me … So consequently I couldn’t see any future at all until I got the word from Housing that I have got somewhere.Numbers of vulnerable older people are risingThe power o

Source: Why secure and affordable housing is an increasing worry for age pensioners


OWCH is a group of women over fifty who have created our own community in a new, purpose-built block of flats in Union St., High Barnet, N. London. As an alternative to living alone, we have friendly, helpful neighbours.Finally, New Ground Cohousing is complete and OWCH members began moving into their new homes this week. We hope everyone will have moved in by early January. The last few exhausting and anxious months have taken their toll on many of us, but this will fade with time and rest. Our dream is being realised at long last.We are carving out a path for others in our age group to follow. We hope they have an easier journey than us, now we have shown the way. The senior cohousing community could enrich the last years of many, and reduce pressures on health and care services, if local authorities, planners, policy makers and developers helped remove the many obstacles society puts in its way

Source: OWCH


And the day passed in bed but it was wrapped up as sweetly as with a trip to the Kids’ and the XMAS TREE – a real traditional Aussie river tree. The Girls and their Dad fetched it together and then we all decorated it and we all loved it. Dinner of noodles and I am past midnight and happy after an evening long talk with Arkue.

Time for Joy – Book – Quote

The world can not change overnight, nor can I. Just one step at a time, one day at a time, I’m exactly where I need to be to get to exactly where I am going. I trust this process today.