FORCE NOTHING – NOTHING AT ALL.
I thought we were going to Coffs today to get the Girls’ presents but plans changed and so we simply did some local shopping which was fortunate because my health turned on me and I was lucky even to get home down my drive. The afternoon was nasty but the attack has passed now.
Lise DID shop in Coffs and bought some bulk stuff wholesale which might do me for the cheap adult gifts this year.
I have been gaining a lot of benefit from the Facebook pages on Sepsis etc.
I am watching Facetime with Eden – Mad’s end of year performances at school. End of primary school as well.
Here are some of the posts from other people which match my experiences in various ways.
When people were in icu with sepsis did people ever hallucinate about things I still get slight hallucinations now the one thing it always comes back to and it was a film it’s a wonderful life and the fact I was in cartoon land I’m sure I may of mentioned this before but my memory is so crap now I don’t know what day it is let alone what I’ve spoken about
Just had a meeting at work in which I went totally blank and couldn’t remember what I had spent the morning doing. Managed to laugh it off at the time but dissolved into tears when I left. I hate that I’ve been robbed of so many capabilities everyone takes for granted. This sudden memory lapse was quite frightening. Please tell me it gets better
One of the insidious and deceptive things I have found is that many of the things happening to me are coming later. The expectations of myself, other and Medicos seem to be that time will bring improvement – but that has not been across the board for me and daily living is extraordinarily difficult. My condition is reasonably unpredictable and very unacknowledged.
Tonight, the grief and loneliness have also arrived and the boredom. Tonight I am once more troubled and sad.
Tonight, memories come.
He gave me those things I could not give myself. Now – things are once more tough.
But for tonight. Its OK. A trifle sad. A good deal overweight. Its OK. I HAVE THE GREAT GOOD FORTUNE TO LIVE in the time of the INTERNET and that relieves the isolation and inbrooding. IT IS OK.