I have just been chilling out inside the Lyon’s Den with the heat blazing outside. IT IS ALMIGHTY HOT.  Today was rather odd. Just silent nothingness – again.I had the very lovely social worker here – basically to tell me that there is nothing she can offer me. The girls enjoyed school again so that’s good but my life is lonesome and odd. Plain odd.

This is vaguely my vague planning at the moment.

1.Have the endoscopy and varices ties.

2. Get the ultrasounds of abdomen.

3. THEN – go South for a couple of weeks.

PLAN NOTHING ELSE.  Let the next stage work itself out.

( I tell you one thing – I don’t actually like living here. )

I really need some kind of miraculous intervention.


2013 at the Poteroo Palace out of Eden NSW

My man, Izzy, went running in the forest near our home June 21 2014 and never came home. He had a massive heat attack and found dead beside the road. In September 2014, still completely shattered and shocked, I began to feel tired and not real well but not enough to worry. I had pre existing conditions and the grief. Then one day, I started to feel worse. At midnight I began to bleed from the mouth and as I have a bleeding disorder and had promised my Doc that if I bled for 30 minutes I would call an ambulance – which I did. Next thing I am in the Regional Hospital In Coffs Harbour. This is a vague time but I was told I would be intubated because I had 12 1/2 minutes of life left. i refused till I could speak to my 2 children and my brother who was a CNC Nurse at RPA in Sydney. I recall very little from that point until weeks later when I woke from the coma. Unable to move , eat etc. Wasted and cathetered – all those things. ICU was very good but I went from there to medical and then was sent to Bellingen for rehab.It was the beginning of October by then and I was still unable to walk or sit or hold spoons etc. Instead of rehab they put me in an old persons ward with dementia patients. It was a nightmare. I knew my muscles were wasting and I was starving.My Doc sent me home alone then to our farm. Luckily my son was there ( he lives 1000km south) and my daughter but none of us really realised what was happening or had happened. It has been a very long 2 1/2 tears of piecing all the bits and pieces together. I have had 15 emergency hospital admissions since then. My hair fell out . I suffered terrible muscular pain and spasms and paralysis at times until acupuncture and then a lymphatic masseuse from Germany (on holidays) eased them. I have suffered so many of the symptoms I have read of in the Sepsis forums but been told by Medical People that they were all separate issues. Despair has been a frequent companion and fear. The physical weakness has been shattering as has the muddled thinking at times and vision.
The last month has felt a good deal better but life bears no resemblance to pre sepsis and nor do I.



Now the word sepsis has seeped its way into my vocabulary. I now try, where possible, to inform anyone about the condition. Here are some of the key symptoms of sepsis:

Slurred speech or confusion

Extreme shivering or muscle pain

Passing no urine (in a day)

Severe breathlessness

It feels like you’re going to die

Skin mottled or discolored

A key problem with sepsis is detection. Most symptoms can be attributed to less severe illnesses, like the flu, gastroenteritis, and chest infections, and so often go undetected.

In Kirsty’s circumstances, the symptoms were extremely hard to discern from the post-operative healing and what she typically experienced with her chronic condition on a day-to-day basis. But do… REALLY DO look out for all sepsis-typical symptoms. Please let others know if you do not urinate, or if you feel extremely unwell: ‘like you might die’. I hope that as more people know about sepsis, they will be become more attuned for what to look out for.

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