GOODNIGHT BELLINGEN

conc-path

BELLINGEN

BY DONALD DELLEY

The thing about Bellingen

is you that you can’t

go to a fine restaurant

and be served by

an anonymous waiter

who you don’t give

a damn about

and who doesn’t give a damn about you

 

You can’t go to

a fine restaurant

where an anonymous waiter

serves the finest food

cooked by someone you don’t know

who has won great accolades’

and who only cares

about fine cuisine

 

The trouble with Bellingen

is that the anonymous waiter

is a friend

you can’t complain to

if the food is not quite right

like the fine food

your used to

in those smart city restaurants

with anonymous two hats.

 

The trouble with Bellingen

is that the anonymous waiter

you used to flat with

or you’ve dated his sister

or even his ex-wife

or you know him from somewhere

now just where do I know him from?

Guide to intensive care – ICUsteps

This guide contains advice and information about intensive care. It tells you how critical illness may be treated and what recovery may be like. Not every patient will experience all of these things, but they are more likely to if they have been in intensive care for more than a few days. Most of this guide is written for patients but there is a section specifically for relatives and visitors. By reading the guide, relatives will learn what a patient’s recovery may involve and it will give them the answers to some of the questions they may have.Recovery is often a long and slow process. To begin with, patients may not feel up to reading this information, so if you are a relative, please keep hold of this booklet and pass it on when the patient is ready.One of the scariest things about having a critical illness is not knowing what’s going to happen. This section covers many of the questions that patients and relatives often have following a critical illness. It tells you what may happen and where you can find out more information. Each section covers a different stage of the process of treatment and recovery.This guide has been written by people who have either been treated in an intensive care unit or are close relatives of someone who has. It has also been reviewed by a wide variety of intensive care professionals.

Source: Guide to intensive care – ICUsteps

VENTURING OUT

I DID IT. I got on that Pony, took my wooden walking stick and off I went. Through the showground and down to the River. It was doable. And I did.How wonderful ! A few idle chats with people out there. Good. And next – into town !

I know Kaybee is concerned that I might pick up another leg infection from the river and she may be right – but – its done and I feel better. Less trapped. Less invisible.  I think this evening is just a little cooler but the humidity is staggering. I really miss living beside the lagoon and Lido where I could be in the water right now. This Pony is fun when It doesn’t play up on me. I went further along the concrete path on the Southern side of the river than I have ever gone.

My head is very itchy and my hair of very poor texture. I don’t know whether its nits or to do with the antibiotics and infections. I just doused my whole head in Eucalyptus oil which stings and stinks. Surely it will kill any nits if thats whats itching so badly.

I have the air conditioning on. I think this is the first summer or house I have ever done that in. Its a pretty hot summer.

I rather think I have done OK today. Still doesn’t feel a happy time. Still doesn’t feel like I shall ever again be not isolated. Feels like I shall struggle and battle and hurt forever – but TONIGHT IS OK.   I potter on. I have been well fed including a bread and butter pudding from Lise and Greengrocer stuff via Kaybee.  Plus Kaybee says she will take me to Gleniffer tomorrow – I love swimming there – so long as my legs don’t flare up.

Remember the plans Lynne.

1.  Get the scan done

2. have the damned endoscopy

3. see the new doctor.

4. Go to Eden for a HOLIDAY.

pony-and-stick
THE PONY AND THE WALKING STICK

GOOD NIGHT MES CHERS.

HIDING

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Another heatwave day.

Another lonely and disappointed day.

Another day of hiding.

I am walking the most complex labyrinth of my life and following the thinnest silver thread.  I could do with some al anon or codependent meetings. I am dancing in the shadows of other people’s lives and its not really working. Some chains have now been snapped and I can go further afield than I have been. But still I hide. Still I dare not venture far alone. Still I am housebound and lonely. And in a curious way – TIMID.

Today I did go briefly to town and to the Greengrocers where I had Juice – anti inflammatory juice. I bought some good food for home.  Sushi and persian love cake.Spinach and cheese pie.

I also dealt with Centrelink and my rent assistance is restored.

Another thing I have done it to switch doctors. I like my young girls but do not have much faith in them as medicos. So I have made an appointment with an older man at the Bellingen Healing Centre.

That’s a few major things done even if the emotions are low.

 Next – Close the blinds. Put on the Air con and give it up.

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BLURB FOR THE NEXT DOC ON THEIR WEBSITE

Medical Acupuncturist and GP with over 35 years experience.  He is particularly interested in assisting both adults and children in the management of musculoskeletal problems, chronic disease, mental health problems, the prevention of conditions such as migraine and challenging conditions where orthodox methods have been less than effective.

________________________________________________

David Whyte

 

HIDING

is a way of staying alive. Hiding is a way of holding ourselves until we are ready to come into the light. Even hiding the truth from ourselves can be a way to come to what we need in our own necessary time. Hiding is one of the brilliant and virtuoso practices of almost every part of the natural world: the protective quiet of an icy northern landscape, the held bud of a future summer rose, the snow bound internal pulse of the hibernating bear.

Hiding is underestimated. We are hidden by life in our mother’s womb until we grow and ready ourselves for our first appearance in the lighted world; to appear too early in that world is to find ourselves with the immediate necessity for outside intensive care.
Hiding done properly is the internal faithful promise for a proper future emergence, as embryos, as children or even as emerging adults in retreat from the names that have caught us and imprisoned us, often in ways where we have been too easily seen and too easily named.

We live in a time of the dissected soul, the immediate disclosure; our thoughts, imaginings and longings exposed to the light too much, too early and too often, our best qualities squeezed too soon into a world already awash with too easily articulated ideas that oppress our sense of self and our sense of others. What is real is almost always to begin with, hidden, and does not want to be understood by the part of our mind that mistakenly thinks it knows what is happening. What is precious inside us does not care to be known by the mind in ways that diminish its presence.

Hiding is an act of freedom from the misunderstanding of others, especially in the enclosing world of oppressive secret government and private entities, attempting to name us, to anticipate us, to leave us with no place to hide and grow in ways unmanaged by a creeping necessity for absolute naming, absolute tracking and absolute control. Hiding is a bid for independence, from others, from mistaken ideas we have about our selves, from an oppressive and mistaken wish to keep us completely safe, completely ministered to, and therefore completely managed.

Hiding is creative, necessary and beautifully subversive of outside interference and control. Hiding leaves life to itself, to become more of itself. Hiding is the radical independence necessary for our emergence into the light of a proper human future.

Excerpted from ‘HIDING’ From CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
2015 © David Whyte:
Available
http://davidwhyte.stores.yahoo.net/newbook.html
and Amazon.com

PHOTO © David Whyte
Waiting Boat: River Cong: County Mayo: Ireland.
December 2014