Back in 2015, I hadn’t learned what I have now about SEPSIS – including the Medical profession’s lack of attention to the symptoms.
The Doc came and went and left me with some antibiotics. A young doc and a young driver. He said the lump on my leg is something to do with a vein and needs looking at and that I have a wheeze. And infection. Bugger it all – says I.This is sure a Battle which I am not winning. Therefore CEASE BATTLING. Cease absolutely. Surrender to each day. Etcetera. Etcetera. I have kookaburras around and deep darkness.UNTHINKABLY GOOD THINGS CAN HAPPEN EVEN LATE IN THE GAME.under tuscan skies or whatever
And honestly maybe some people with chronic illness are. But I am asking you to consider grace, and here is why:Imagine you are living a fairly normal active life; you work, you socialize with friends a few times a week, maybe you are also busy with kids. You do stuff! You go out to movies, you eat out at restaurants, you meet friends for coffee, you have a lot of human interaction at work, you sometimes take day trips or mini vacations, and your life may not be perfect or exciting, but it is full.One day your body starts to betray you. Suddenly all the daily things that were no big deal become as hard as lifting heavy boulders. Your entire body is tired, tired to the point it feels like you have lead in your veins. You swear Earth’s gravity just dialed it up a notch as you struggle to go up the same staircase you have been bounding up the last five years.You start sleeping a lot more, so much more that you start to feel guilt over your “laziness.” Even after a full night’s sleep your body starts to shut down in the middle of the day and you need to nap. The thing is all this extra sleep doesn’t help and you are just as tired and fatigued when you wake up in the morning as the night before. Even worse, you feel hungover, even without alcohol: toxic, heavy, foggy, headache, basically like sludge.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape, such as in cases of:domestic emotional, physical or sexual abusechildhood emotional, physical or sexual abuseentrapment or kidnapping.slavery or enforced labor.long term imprisonment and torturerepeated violations of personal boundaries.long-term objectification.exposure to gaslighting & false accusationslong-term exposure to inconsistent, push-pull,splitting or alternating raging & hooveringbehaviors.long-term taking care of mentally ill or chronically sick family members.long term exposure to crisis conditions.
Sepsis should be recognized as a separate cause of illness and death around the world. This focus would help efforts to prevent sepsis by improving hygiene, nutrition and vaccination rates and also lead to timely treatment, better outcomes and quality of life for people with sepsis, argue researchers in a commentary http://www.cmaj.ca/site/press/cmaj.160798.pdf in CMAJ (Canadian Medical Association Journal).
It turned out I was most unwell. I finally gave in and went to Emergency and next thing I am on IV drips of 3 kinds of antibiotics and fluids and in hospital for 5 days. I had infection in bladder and kidney and cellulitis in the left leg and I was most unwell again.
I did however have a lovely time in hospital. Its Xmas and there was a happiness all through the ward and excellent nurses. I made it one more time. Now family is here from Wagga and Sydney.
I am going to bed just after midnight after being attached to drips all week. Good Night World.
MY POST TO THE SEPSIS SUPPORT GROUP
I am home for Xmas. This time I had 3 major infections and cellulitis so its been 5 days oN IV antibiotics and fluids. In Hospital. Came on quickly as usual. I made it through once more and this time I had more tools to use in speaking with the medical profession. Showed the group to our infection control nurse. She had no idea of the things we know.
Anyway, it felt far better with all the stories I have read here than my last 12 admissions since the coma in 2014. In those times I did wonder whether perhaps I was actually crazy.
Xmas in hospital was fun and the Doc and Nurses did face painting and decorating. I was able to support the lovely roommate who is only a few months out of major organ collapse and sepsis and has been on valium and thinking she had depression. We are doing good things here. Thank you to the people who run the group. We are spreading the information.
Some friendships faded and some family members distanced themselves over time as I began to put myself and my health first. If they were about drama and brought on stress, I distanced from them. However, I’ve come to realize many people do surround a person when they get sick, if it’s a short sickness or possibly a terminal one. Except when a person has a chronic illness, an invisible illness and/or one that is long-term, so many people tend to drift away. Part of me thinks it’s because some just get busy in their own life as time goes on. Others don’t want to take the time to accommodate your never-ending illness. Then there are always those few who choose not to take the time to see what’s considered invisible yet is so visible to you.